Husband & Wife Funny Conversation - Must Read

One Day An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone: ”Where the Hell are you …?”

Husband: Darling do you remember the jewellery shop where you saw a very beautiful gold necklace and were desperate to buy it, but I didn’t have the money but promised to get it later when I get my salary…

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Sure I remember it my dear.

Husband: I am in the cafe next to that jewellery shop!!

Few Hours Later,

Husband sends a text message to his wife: “Hi, what are you doing Darling?”

Wife: I’m dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart, how can I live without you?”

Wife: “You fool! I am dying my hair..”

Husband: “Bloody English Language

Before Sleeping,

Wife : How much do you love me ?

Husband : I love U so much, I can't measure.

Wife : No just tell me....

Husband : Okay, I am like a cell phone & you are my sim card, i am nothing without you...

Wife : Wow ! that's so romantic...

Husband (saying to himself): Thank God she doesn't know, this is a Chinese phone, with FOUR sim cards...

What is real love.....??

Let Me tell U...:-)?

1. Real love is whn u lay awake at night and wish dat person was lying next to u....

2. Real love is feeling dat person move u insde ur heart, evn if they are one thousand miles away...

3. Real love is wishing so hard dat u could dream about thm every night whn u go to bed....

4. Real love is whn u look at a picture of thm and say wow!!?

5. Real love is whn whatever happens in ur day, whatever music u listen to, whatever u read, whatever u imagine, whatever

someone says to u, it reminds u of thm....

6. Real love is whn u have a passion a desire to tell thm how much u love thm....

7. Real love is whn u cry urself to sleep as they will never be urs..

8. Real love is whn there is simply no words to explain how ur feeling....:-/?

9. Real love is whn no matter where u go in life, or whatever happens dat one person will always be there, following u like

a shadow.....

10. Real love is what lasts forever and ever and ever until forever never ever ends!!!!?

Beautiful story... MUST READ..

A very poor man lived with his wife...

One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed... The man felt very sorry and said, "NO"

He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just
broken... She did not insist on her request..

The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife...

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife...

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut..

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band..

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions.., but, for the reciprocity of their love...

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love,
that is EVERYTHING...

Never take love for granted... ?

Customer Vs Waiter... Very Funny Conversation..

Customer :Waiter, do you serve crabs?
Waiter :Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.

Customer:Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?
Waiter:Can't you tell the difference by taste?

Customer:No, I can't.
Waiter:Then does it really matter?

Customer:Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Waiter:Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers.

Customer:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Waiter:That' s all right sir, he won't drink much.

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

Customer:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.
Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

Customer: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter: That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much.

Customer :Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea up?
Waiter :I wouldn't know sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

POLISH REMOVER

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was not perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him to arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me.......................
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read English pretty good, and it say: POLISH REMOVER -

Women will Never Change!!!

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.

It's a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving.

Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says;

“So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.

Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.

My car is completely damaged, but this bottle of wine didn't break.

Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."

Adam ate the apple again !

Men will NEVER learn ! Women will Never change!!!

The Bus Conductor <<-- Must Read Thriller Story!!! -->>

Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot.

Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court. The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment. The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. This time also, to everyone's amazement, he survived. The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus. Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his
injuries. The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge. Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!

The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??

Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical. If necessary read the puzzle once again.

Still couldn't? Then see below.........

Think hard

Common.............

Tired....?

Wanna know the answer????

Okay........ here is the Answer............

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him. But during the third time, he was a good conductor, so electricity passed through him freely and he died !!!!

Note:-

Don't swear at me!! I am also looking for the guy who sent me this... and for the Banana Peel, someone must have removed it by now, don't bother!